A SEARCH IN VAIN

Thanks to her mind-provoking entry, now that things seem much clearer: a whole lot of the hesitation has to do with the matter of weight.

Why would one be inclined to heaviness, if lightness isn't very far from his/her reach?

Or in another sense, what makes heaviness more of a preferred orientation than lightness?

“But is heaviness truly deplorable and lightness splendid?

The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man’s body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously the image of life’s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.

Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.

What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?”

- The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Slowly the fragments of memories find their way, as if I did have a clue in the past.